How to Choose a Wedding Photographer When You Don’t Like Being Photographed
Choosing
Comfort Over
Performance.
HOW TO CHOOSE A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER WHEN YOU HATE BEING IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA
“We’re so awkward in front of the camera.”
I hear this almost every time I meet a new couple. It’s often one of the first things they note. Not because they don’t care about their wedding photographs.
Because they do.
They spend hours looking at portfolios, saving ideas, and picturing how they’ll remember their day. They want beautiful photos, but they don’t want their wedding to feel like a photoshoot.
Frankly, most people share this sentiment.
YOU PROBABLY DON’T HATE BEING PHOTOGRAPHED
You probably hate feeling self-conscious.
There’s a difference.
Most people don’t like being told where to stand, what to do with their hands, or how to smile on cue. It’s tough to relax when you’re worried about doing everything “right.” That’s often where the discomfort comes from.
Not the camera itself.
The pressure.
When people say they don’t photograph well, they usually mean they don’t feel like themselves in front of a camera.
YOUR PHOTOGRAPHER INFLUENCES MORE THAN YOUR PHOTOS
When choosing a wedding photographer, it’s easy to focus only on the final gallery. Of course, you should love their work. But don’t stop there. Think about how it might have felt to be the couple in those photos.
Do they look comfortable?
Do they seem connected?
Are they laughing because someone asked them to, or because they truly forgot the camera was there?
A portfolio shows you more than just whether someone takes beautiful photos. It often reveals how they make people feel during the day.
EVERY PHOTOGRAPHER CREATES A DIFFERENT EXPERIENCE
Some photographers love directing every part of the day. They guide you through poses, organize moments, and make sure every detail looks just right. For many couples, that’s exactly what they want.
Documentary photographers work differently. We observe more than they direct. We move quietly through the day, helping only when it’s truly needed and stepping back the rest of the time.
Neither approach is better. They serve different people.
WHY DOCUMENTARY PHOTOGRAPHY FEELS DIFFERENT
If you don’t like being photographed, documentary wedding photography can feel like a breath of fresh air. Instead of making you perform for the camera, you can focus on your wedding. You stay in the conversation instead of leaving it for another photograph. You listen to every speech without wondering where the photographer wants you next. You spend more time with your family, your friends, and your partner. The photos are taken as you live your day, and that is often when people look most natural.
FEELING COMFORTABLE MATTERS MORE THAN FEELING CONFIDENT
You don’t need to practice smiling in the mirror. You don’t need to memorize poses. You don’t need to become someone who loves having their photograph taken.
You need to feel comfortable.
When you trust your photographer, you stop thinking about the camera, and your attention goes back to what really matters. Your partner. Your family. The hugs. The laughter. The atmosphere you’ve worked so hard to create.
That’s when the best memories surface and keepsake photographs are created.
CHOOSE THE PHOTOGRAPHER YOU ENJOY BEING AROUND
There’s something couples don’t always realize: your photographer will spend more time with you on your wedding day than almost anyone else.
They’ll be there while you get ready. During your ceremony. Your portraits. Your dinner. Your first dance. They’ll witness some of the biggest moments of your life.
So ask yourself a simple question: How do I feel when I’m with them?
Do you feel relaxed? Do you feel seen? Can you picture spending your wedding day with them without feeling like you have to put on a show?
Technical skill is important. So is experience. But their presence matters too. A photographer has a way of making the whole day feel calmer.
THE RIGHT PHOTOGRAPHER HELPS YOU BE YOURSELF
If you’ve always imagined a wedding filled with beautifully directed portraits and carefully crafted photographs, there’s a photographer who will do that exceptionally well. If you want to spend your day focused on the people you love, barely noticing the camera as your story unfolds, documentary photography might be just what you need.
You don’t need to become naturally comfortable in front of a camera. You need someone who works in a way that lets you forget the camera is even there. When you’re truly present on your wedding day, something wonderful happens.
You stop performing.
You start living.
And that’s when the photographs become the most meaningful.
Creating a space where you feel entirely at ease allows those honest, unscripted moments to unfold naturally. To read more about my philosophy or to view recent work, explore my approach to documentary wedding photography in Cape Town and beyond.
-
Hi Marli
Wow - it's going to be difficult to describe the emotion towards our gallery... it is beyond perfect! It was so special to be able to go through each picture, reliving it all and being reminded of all the love, laughter and fun that was evident throughout the day. You managed to capture each moment as a piece frozen in time, and we are so grateful to you and your team. The pictures are more than what we could have hoped for. I especially loved seeing the parts of the day that I wasn't there for (like the boys getting ready and watching guests arrive). It is so special to us to know all those moments and people were captured.
We were surprised by how well we all looked in each picture That is definitely down to how you made us and our bridal party feel so relaxed and comfortable in front of the camera. For a group who don't like being in pictures, you made us look like models! Thank you for helping create the right energy and environment for this to happen, we would never have captured such beautiful pictures without your genuine and sincere (and fun!) encouragement and guidance.
Thank you again for all you have done for us. For the time and care you put into our album, and for documenting our day in the most perfect way.
- The Frankeys
