How to Choose a Wedding Photographer When You Don’t Like Being Photographed
Choosing
Comfort Over
Performance.
HOW TO CHOOSE A WEDDING PHOTOGRAPHER WHEN YOU HATE BEING IN FRONT OF THE CAMERA
“We feel very awkward when in front of the camera.”
I hear this almost every time I meet a new couple. It’s often one of the first things they mention. They spend hours looking at different portfolios, saving ideas and trying to work out what kind of photographs they actually want. Although they want photographs they love, they don't want photography to become the main focus of the day.
If you are conscious of the camera, you start thinking about how you look, what you are doing with your hands, or whether you are in the right position. Then you start to feel a sense of responsibility towards the photograph. That is often where the discomfort comes from. You most likely don't mind being photographed, but you likely hate feeling self-conscious.
When you're selecting a wedding photographer, it's easy to concentrate solely on the final gallery. Your photographer will spend a significant part of your wedding day with you, and their way of working becomes part of your experience. So when you’re looking at a photographer’s work, ask yourself:
Can I picture this person taking part in my day?
Do I trust what this person sees?
Could I feel comfortable being around them and thus stop thinking about the photographs?
Above all else, can you imagine relying on this photographer to take care of the parts of your wedding that can't be planned?
There are many ways to photograph a wedding. Certain photographers achieve their results by giving careful instructions and by arranging portraits. Others work more responsively, reacting to what is already taking place. Neither is right nor wrong by nature. What matters is choosing a method that suits you. If you don’t like being the centre of attention, you don't need to plan your wedding around the photography. You should be able to stay in conversation, listen to a speech, spend time with your family, go over and join the dance floor, or sit down with the people you love without asking yourself whether you're meeting the photographer's expectations.
Those are the conditions in which I find the photographs I'm most interested in. It also works particularly well for people who aren't comfortable in front of the camera.
My approach is observational, but it isn't passive. I pay attention to the way people interact with each other, the atmosphere of the place, a repeated colour, a specific gesture, a moment of tension, or a quieter exchange. At times the thing I notice takes the form of a single photograph; at other times it becomes part of a visual thread that runs through the day. Sometimes direction is useful, particularly during portraits. If a little direction will help, I'll give it. If you don’t, I won’t manufacture something simply because a photograph is expected.
Before the wedding, I ask questions about you, your people and the kind of day you're creating. This gives me a loose framework for understanding the people, place and rhythm of the day. As the day goes on, I decide then whether to watch, whether to take part and whether a bit of guidance will actually make a difference. The aim is to let you stay engaged with the day while I make decisions about what is worth photographing.
Technical skill matters, as does experience, but judgement matters too. It means knowing when to move closer, when to leave someone alone, when to make a portrait, and what is worth paying attention to. Feeling uncomfortable in front of a camera does not mean you need a photographer who spends the day trying to get you to pose naturally. YYou may need someone focused on people, relationships, place, composition and everything happening around you.
If this is how you want your wedding photographed, you can read more about my approach to documentary wedding photography or get in touch.
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“Marli was so much more than our photographer. She was a calming, reassuring and genuinely fun presence who made us and our guests feel completely at ease.
When we received our gallery, we were blown away. She captured not only how the day looked, but how it felt; the laughter, happy tears, quiet moments and celebrations. Nothing felt forced or awkward, and that really shines through in the photographs.
The editing is beautiful and timeless: natural, true to life and enhanced without feeling overdone. We still look like ourselves.
Marli didn’t just preserve our memories; she made the experience of being photographed feel effortless, and gave us a gallery that brings the whole day back to life.”
- AMY & NIC
